i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
