please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
