she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
