why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
