I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
