Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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