woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
