you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
