Whod you bang
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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