im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you never un-have a 4some
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
