how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
