my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
