I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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