im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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