He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
