hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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