I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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