It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
