Im at strip club and am horny
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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