I wish I could punch you in the face.
This girl is more easily done than said...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
