Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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