We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
