garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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