That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
