If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think I just sharted jello shots
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
