What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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