you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
