She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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