Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
