Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
