she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
