whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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