Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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