one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
