Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
