Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
