sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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