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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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