WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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