Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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