I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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