I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
