he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am available for nakedness
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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