she looked like the before picture.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
we should paint friendship bongs
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
