she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
