im drinking this country out of the recession.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
