Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
