I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
