but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You took a bar mat shot.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
