see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
