we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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